my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
