I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize