I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
