Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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