Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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