My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
