I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
