i'm signing you up for texting rehab
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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