I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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