I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
