once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
