can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
