I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
