I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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