this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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