I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize