woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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