Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
