We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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