i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
