I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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