He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
