Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
