I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
