i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
