You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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