I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
