So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
