I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
