How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
