i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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