yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
