every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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