dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
