I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
