I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
