he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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