It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
