I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
