Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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