giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
