Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize