Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
