I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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