do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she told me i tasted like america
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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