Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
