I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
