Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He felt like a one man threesome
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize