Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
