I think I am morally bankrupt
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
