That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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