You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Blow job season was short but glorious.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
