he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
