just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
