I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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