I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize