That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize