Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
