Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
