And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
