i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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