It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is it penis luge time yet?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
