I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
