I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
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